3 Stages of Life.....

Teen age:

Have Time + Energy …but No Money




Working Age:

Have Money + Energy …but No Time

Old age:

Have Time + Money …but no Energy

Never Compare your wife with your mom.....

Memoirs of IMH (International Mental Hospital)

Record I

Patient A: "So how.. this book not bad ya?"

Patient B: "Excellent! Astounding work. No nonsense shit, sharp and
concise to the point. But there's a major flaw in this piece of art
too many character names to remember!!!"

Nurse: "Hey! Can the two of you..put the telephone book back to the
original place?"



Record II

One doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your ear off, what will happen to you?" Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..." Doctor: "Hmm.. that's normal...So if I were to cut your other ear off, what will happen to you?" Patient: "Then I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not see then???" Patient: "Because my spectacles will drop down..."


Record III

IMH has an old lady who wears black everyday, carries a black umbrella and squats @ the entrance to the IMH everyday without fail, rain or shine. The doctor wanted to administer treatment for her and decided to start by understanding her behaviour. So, the doctor also wear black and carries a black umbrella; squatted outside together just next to her, rain or shine, everyday without fail. So...days goes by...the two of them squatted side-by-side w/o a single exchange of words..for one solid month... One fine day..the old lady finally broke the silence and asked the doctor: "Err...Excuse me! Are you also a mushroom?"


Record IV (the best)

A nurse saw a patient writing a letter.. She got curious and went to take a peek.. But the patient didn't wanna let her see. Nurse (unable to contain her curiosity): "Who are you writing to?" Patient : "I'm writing a letter to myself..." Her curiosity grew and she thought to herself (Why would someone write a letter to himself?)

So she asked again: "So...what's written inside?" Patient (got impatient): "You crazy ah? I haven't receive the letter, how would I know??"



Record V

Two patients escape from the IMH. They climbed up a tree and one of
them fell from the tree and started rolling on the ground.

After a while, the patient rolling shouted to the top: "Hey! How come
you are not coming down yet?"

The patient on top replied: "No..no...I can't...I'm not ripe yet"



Record VI

One patient visited the doctor: "Doc...how? I think I'm a chicken
since I was born..."

Doctor: "Woah! that's very serious...Why do you only come and seek
treatment now?"

Patient: "Because my family needs me to hatch the eggs..."




Record VII (Perfect)

One truck driver was doing his usual delivery to IMH. He discovered a flat tyre when he was about to go home after unloading the stuff. He jacked up the truck and took the flat tyre down. When he was about to fix on the new tyre, he accidentally dropped all the bolts into the drain. The truck driver was very sad as he can't fished the bolts up; started to panic.

Coincidentally, one patient walk past and asked the driver what happened. The driver thought to himself, since there's nothing much he can do, he told the patient the whole incident. The patient non chantly replied: "can't even fix such a simple problem...no wonder you are destined to be a truck driver..." he goes on explaining: "You just have to take one bolt each from the other 3 tyres and fix it onto this tyre. Drive to the nearest workshop and replace the missing ones" The driver was very impressed and asked "You're so smart but why do you stay in IMH?" Patient replied: "I'm here because I'm crazy not STUPID!"

Spread Your Wings....

When you appreciate the countless blessings from God, you will free yourself from all "Knots" of life.
Why I say "knots", knots is like a rope that cannot get out free. Stuck with problems and unnecessary of worries. Hard to breath and tied down. You are in control not the"obstacles". Never compare yourself with others and you will get on better. Move on with what inspires you and follow your passions. Do what you do best and focus.

Love yourself and you will love others without doubt. Trust in God and He will guide you in your path of life. Thank Him for all His blessings and you will be bless even more than good.

Believe in God and yourself, have faith & you will fly like an eagle.......so spread your wings! =))

True Kolo Mee stories from me...

Well something strike up and hope this will make u laugh!

Kolo Mee Story 10 years ago......

One evening I've decided to have kolo mee for dinner from Hui Sing Garden stalls. So I drove with my kids along to the desired place. When we reached there, I wanted to try Dan & Joel to tapau themselves and learn to speak simple mandarin to the hawker stall. This is their first time task to order for tapau and I repeated this to Dan and Joel in simple mandarin before they go forward and this is how it goes "Tapau liang pau kolo mian"(takeaway 2 packets of kolo mee) for Dan to say and to Joel, "Fang char sau yue"(put char siew sauce). Asked them to repeated it a few times , seems ok and they went....

I waited patiently in the car and when they came back, Joel was so excited, he said: Mom! I'm so good! I talked fluently to the lady in mandarin while Dan was still trying to murmured his " Ta......pau......liang.......pau......kolo......mian....slowly after I spoke my line faster than him. Well. it was suppose to be Dan to say it first tho...The auntie asked us in english how many packet do we want to buy and put char siew sauce is it? Dan said, Hai ya!!! Mom, The auntie can speak english one! Why want us to speak mandarin so hard!! I couldn't stop laughing in the car! Picturing my kids trying to speaking mandarin like a"kwai lo" to the hawker stall woman who spoke english to them instead of mandarin. Still laugh at it whenever I think of it again....Hehehehe.. This is much better when I tell u the story with expression! Hahaha.....



Kolo Mee Story This Morning.....

Joel got very excited and craving for the kolo mee which he read on Kenny Sia's blog. He said, it was promoted as the "best kolo mee in town". A must try local food and so we went. The coffee shop is at Jalan Sekama and the name of the shop is........Some lubricant name! Guess u must know where it is and what name it is.....Hahaha

The 2 towkays are also very fluent in english too. =) Love their green vinegar chilies! Me & Joel finished the whole container....Yum!




Kolo Mee Story in The Early Evening

Today after my girl finished her dancing lesson, she was very hungry. It was before 5 and we went to RH Plaza Expert food Corner. Most of the stalls are not open yet. She was craving for kolo mee and went to the Kolo mee stall which was empty....she saw 2 guys sitting there. She asked: "Do u have kolo mee now? "They replied," Belum buka lagi, masih awal". She came back to me while I was waiting in the coffee shop. I told her..."Next time, when u see an empty stall, no kolo mee yet, pls be smarter a bit." Don't ask for it if the stall is obviously empty...Haiyah, she is so hungry & blurr till like that.....Hehehe..Knowing how silly she looked , she changed the topic by saying maybe they can bring it out..


Can u imagine the picture? *_*

Mwah hahaha......