I was supposed to be a Singaporean....??

Back then when I had my 2nd child, my mom flew down to Kuching from S'pore to visit me. During the stay, we had some chats and that's the 1st longest chat we had since all these years. She asked me, did grandma told u that I wanted to give u up to a singaporean couple when u were just a baby? I said, No, she never mention it! Why u want to do that? She said, well as u know, I was a single mother and left your father who don't even want to know u just becoz u r not a boy. Your father is bad man and that's why u don't get to see any of his photo. I don't want u to know abt him or look for him in future. He has so many wives and other children. He don't deserve u and we don't need him as he don't appreciate girl. Geez...that's was real sad....there was silence for a while as she continued picking the vegetables..

She continues....I have found a nice and rich couple from S'pore who has been looking to adopt a baby and we had met. She even made an agreement wt the couple that after handed me to them she will not be allow to visit me. For the agreement the couple r willing to pay $10k, Whoa! Back then it was a lot a money. It's a fair trade as she mentioned........I could live my life again and don't have to worry that u will be brought up fatherless! You will be a rich girl and enjoy a luxury life plus u will have a solid family background. You don't have to stay in a broken family and live wt your useless uncle. She hates and love my uncle! My mom is the bread winner for my grandma, me and my uncle's family! She was a very stone hearted person as I knew her last time. I only get the chance to visit her once in a year and keep in touch wt her through phone calls just a few times in a year.

At that moment, I did felt in my heart, I rather want to be sold away....thinking back last time how sad I was when I see my school mates who have both parents. Living wt my uncle was not an ideal place to grow up. I don't like him either....Then I asked, What's made u changed ur mind? She said, It is becoz of your grandma, she stopped me from giving u up! Your grandma did all she was capable of to stop me from doing it! She threatens to kill u and kill herself if I give u up! Gosh!!!....Gulp! That's my grandma alrite...the fierce china woman! I used to fear her but I knew that my grandma loved me the most! She's very protective of me and moulded me to be an very obedient child. She spoiled me by reserving the best for me. Provide lavish pocket money for me every week, whatever I asked she will get it for me if it is affordable to her. My grandma did all my laundry and never let me wash any dishes as she worried that my hands would get rough...

Reflecting back, I was very blessed to have her. Though not in a rich family, she treats me like a princess. Even though her ways of bringing me up is totally unacceptable in today's time. When she is in dark mood... In those days...rotan is the weapon of discipline and I will not be excuse either! The cutest things is, after she rotan she will asked, Do u know y I rotan u? I will have to answer.....becoz u love me grandma! That's all she wants to hear from me and the next day I will be pampered again. LOL!!!!!

Everything happens for a reason for who I am today. I believed even though I was brought up fatherless, my"imaginary friend" became my Father in heaven. The "friend" whom I'm talking to from my heart all this while was God! God is good to me.
He was there to comfort, strengthens and guide me back to Him many times....=))